My Pops sent me this to my gmail. Funny schitt…GREAT editing!

eNjOy!

[source]

…the post formerly known as “THIS COUNTRY’S GOING TO HELL”.

STILL EARLY… i aint neva scurrred… my question to yall is this.

what will your celiberatory drink of choice win Obama wins the election?

For those of you who haven’t seen it, this is the speech Obama made at the Alfred E. Smith Memorial Foundation dinner last night in New York.  He definitely treated McCain and made light of the nonsense floating around about him. McCain tried to make a funny or two, but I’m not going to support that tomfoolery. Enjoy!

Anyway, I got something serious to talk to y’all about and I hope you’re listening. Now, the Hip-Hop community is all abuzz with Obama fever these days. Cats are shouting him out on songs (for better or worse), you see his face plastered on t-shirts all up and down the ave, etc. But did you know that 8 MILLION Black folk in this country aren’t registered to vote? And that had Ohio’s 270,000 unregistred Black voters stepped up to the plate, the state could have been won in the 2004 election? Had the same occurred in Florida as well, we could have avoided the past eight years of misery. And NOW look what we are facing:

Mickey and Mallory 2008

It is my fear that if John McCain and Sarah “You gotta be fucking kidding me” Palin are elected, we will all actually die. This is what I would imagine his first day in the Oval Office would look like…more info after the jump.

5:15-Arise
5:45-Morning cardio
5:47- Morning cardiopulmonary resuscitation
6:30- Breakfast (Baby heart and egg whites, decaf w/two Splendas, splash of skim).
7:00-Bomb Hiroshima and Nagasaki for old-times sake
8:00-Worship and prayer time with the spirits of Hitler and Hussein
10:00- Meeting about educational disparities in the urban school system
10:02- Nap
12:00- Lunch (Blood of the lamb, hummus, pita, prunes)
12:30- Bombing of Atlanta, GA (known around the office as “Niggeronia”)
1:00- Press conference about terrorist attack on Nig….Atlanta
1:15- Follow-up on status of poisoning Earth’s water supply to bring the Second Coming
2:00- Afternoon cardio pulmonary resuscitation
3:00- Apocalypse

Even if I am a bit extreme in my predictions, you can’t tell me that what McCain has in store would be much better. If the octogenarian McCain can survive even a few moments in office (dude is one M. Night Shyamalan film away from death, k?), we are pretty much doomed. I picture mass suicides as the economy continues to tank and people go on unable to provide health care and housing for their families, a return to the abortion clinic bombing days as McCain works to overturn Roe V, Wade and perhaps even a race war. Not to mention McCain’s fervor to bomb and destroy Iran and continue the War On Iraqi Freedom for the rest of our lives.

And Palin? Good Lord. I don’t respect a person who preaches abstinence only education, only to turn up with a knocked up daughter. Her resume is laughable and I’d ignore her all together, if there weren’t so many idiotic Americans (particularly White women) who have actually been CHARMED by this douchebitch, just because she’s got some kids and some nice spectacles.

Listen up: if young people and Blacks do not go to the polls, idiotic Americans who feel McCain and Palin are “relatable” (because one is old and the other has a vagina) will be the ones to decide our fate. If you do not fully grasp the POWER of stupidity, please recall that George W. Bush won over people in 2000 because voters thought he was someone they could “have a beer with”. Eight years later, that “boring” Al Gore guy has become the charismatic winner of an Oscar, a Grammy and a Nobel Prize…not to mention helping to save the environment by sparking this “green” movement. Imagine what he could have done as President.

Yes, we can. Or else…

Treated, John McCain. Treated.

“We’re told this is planet Earth, but things operate like Mars”

Although most of the blog is centered around music, I still would like to introduce some other economic, social and political thoughts into the conversation since those topics are so intertwined with music.  Nevertheless, I will always attempt to expose possible conspiracies that exist in our society in a weekly Conspiracy Theory Series.  If you think that my theory is incorrect, keep yo damn thoughts to yourself!!!! Just playin (but kinda not really).  If you would like to add on to the theory please feel free to do so.  However my analysis is thorough and all of my information comes from the most credible of sources such as the Enquirer and Ms. Cleo (who has me in her fav 5).

Without further ado my first Conspiracy Theory is centered around the 2008 American Presidential Election.  My sources have come to tell me that the Republican Party is up to its old antics and they are trying to use the “banana in the tale pipe” again.    Now don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against Republicans especially since my grandfather voted Republican for many years.

(****Sidenote***** This was not because he liked their policies but because he was born in 1910 and my grandfather liked the fact that Republican President, Abraham Lincoln, freed the slaves and my grandfather never caught wind of the shift in voter demographics during Franklin Roosevelt’s presidency since he was in backwoods Arkansas.)

The Republicans are masterminds in structuring presidential campaigns by confusing voters.  In 2000 and 2004, they used an anti-gay marriage and anti-abortion platform to attract religious conservatives, when Gay Marriage and Abortion have nothing to do with the presidency! Gay marriage is a state’s rights issue and abortion is an issue to be solved by the Supreme Court, but the Trick worked twice so good job Republicans.  Nevertheless the Republicans are once again paying off the Green Party to dilute the vote of liberals similar to the way they paid them in both the 2000 and 2004 presidential elections.  Everyone knows Ralph Nader got paid by the G.O.P for running in both elections and many wealthy republicans donated to Nader’s campaign.   Also, word is that Bush even offered Nader a late night rendezvous with Condoleezza Rice at the Trick or Treat Motel in Harvey, Illinois.  Nader gladly accepted and enjoyed his 47 sensational seconds.

"Tricking minorities one vote at a time"

However, this time the Republicans are using an African-American woman named Cynthia McKinney, who is also a former Democratic Congresswoman, as the main culprit.  The Republicans strengthened the concoction with a Latina woman name Rosa Clemente as the Green Party’s V.P. candidate since recent polls have shown that Latinos have been much more supportive of the Democratic Party in this election than they were in the 2000 and 2004 presidential elections. Republicans have named this “Operation Greens and Tortilla Bread Had a Fight.”

The main plan is to convince the African-American voters that they have the option to vote for someone who is “more Black” than Senator Obama since McKinney is a descendent of a slave and while in Congress, she wanted a bill passed to have the records of Tupac Shakur’s murder released to the public.  The lure for the Latino voters is that they will have a Latino for president since the first black president will more than likely be assassinated or brought by the CIA to live on that same island as Tupac.

Here is why the trick won’t work this time.  My sources tell me African-Americans are tired of loosing and will be the last group to make any “statement votes” in this election, meaning they will not vote for a candidate that does not have a good chance of winning.  Also, Latinos will not be too impressed with Rosa Clemente once word gets out that she used to write for the Final Call which is the official newspaper for the Nation of Islam.  Once again, I have nothing against the Nation of Islam but that makes Barack Obama look like an orthodox Jew which only makes him more electable.  Maybe in the near future, I will explain the conspiracies of the Democratic party, but until then always read in between the lines.