Blind I | The Boutique Music Blog | Quality Over Quantity.

CEASE AND DESIST: FLO RIDA

Hip-Hop is most certainly not dead. There is irrefutable proof of both it’s life and it’s growth posted every single day on this very site. However, there are still some very credible threats to it’s existence. I understand that the term “Hip-Hop” is very broad and that the things that fall under that umbrella are so varied and multi-faceted.  Even the most serious purist can’t really police what is or isn’t part of the culture these days and I accept that a lot of what is Hip-Hop is not a reflection of myself or my generation or those before me. Fine. I get that.

But some shit just ain’t okay.

THIS MF RIGHT HERE: NOT OKAY.

I rebuke Flo Rida. I regret the day his parents met. I resent his lungs for continuing to draw breath, with which his mouth is able to make sounds.  I hate his dog. I HATE HIS DOG.

More after the jump

I want to blame Nelly for this. Flo Rida took his brand of “I’m cool to White folks who don’t actually listen to Rap” and completely brought it to a new level of embarrassment. Nelly walks away looking like Rakim compared to this Ed Hardy be-clothed monster.

I saw the commercial for the theatrical abomination that is Step Up 3 (THEY MADE TWO OTHERS?) the other day and before I even peeped that Mr. Rida was a part of the situation, I was shaking my head. This foolishness has the nerve to be in 3D. One dimension wasn’t enough? I need these clowns jumping out at me from off the screen? No.  And by the time they got to “featuring Flo Rida”, my face was in my hands. I said “Naw, son, come on. Dude, you not serious…” to myself over and over for about the length of Puff’s adlibs on “The Ghost of Christopher Wallace”. My family started to worry about my whereabouts.

Flo Rida is the antithesis of  “Black cool”. He makes the whole concept look like a myth. In fact, he makes Bryant Gumble look like Shawn Carter. Flo Rida makes me wonder if it’s all worth it. It= my life. Existing on the same planet as this thing.

Yes,  Hip-Hop has had such a humongous influence on global culture and I realize that can’t always be a good thing. We don’t have any tribunal or group of Rap elder statesmen to vote on who or what can be remotely associated with the genre. If we did, this fool right here would be permanently barred (a ghostwriter on Craigslist? You not serious about life, playboy).  And while his music is technically Pop, it is with a heavy heart that I acknowledge that my beloved Rap music is why this fool Rida has a career. I know there’s nothing I can do about it; much like that Black Eyed Peas record that sold one billion copies, I don’t know a single soul who would touch a Flo Rida record with a chicken finger, let alone their own. But he bothers me deep in my soul. I had to get that out.

 

DROPPED BY SisterToldja

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10 Comments to CEASE AND DESIST: FLO RIDA

1. 

   i’ve gotten use to flo rida’s pop music sound. after low i seen he was all commercial
tHEiNKReDiBLe on July 26th, 2010
2. 

   LMAO @ “I don’t know a single soul who would touch a Flo Rida record with a chicken finger.”
Bee on July 26th, 2010
3. 

   Cosgin sis. I’m instantly irritated whenever ANY of his songs come on.
Maiya on July 26th, 2010
4. 

   #ohyoufancy because you never dance in a basket at the laundry mat?
@JastinD on July 26th, 2010
5. 

   i hate his damn cadence that he uses in every song… & they say I’M stuck in staccato!?

   HA!

   What’s wrong with a glurb dancing in a laundry basket tho? hahahaha That’s kinda fly! hahahahaha

   
NO on July 26th, 2010
6. 

   at least no one will listen to this garbage ten years from now….
bobbyvision on July 27th, 2010
7. 

   Looks like Taio Cruz been workin out.
Mitzleplick on July 27th, 2010

8. [...] he find a woman?” It started getting clearer. Now, my greatest pet peeve in life (aside from Flo Rida) is people who can’t use the self-checkout. He picked up some milk that had a coupon attached [...]
The Second Worst I Ever Had | The Beautiful Struggler on July 28th, 2010
9. 

   Well…There is a long history of White folks appropriating Black music to make pop, and making tons of money off it. At least a Black guy is appropriating black music to make pop. Would I ever buy this? NO. But I can appreciate his hustle making bad music AND the fact that i dont ever have to hear it. (well, unless i am tricked by my love for blindi into watching a video of his…)
MJ3 on July 29th, 2010

10. [...] Cease and Desist: Flo Rida- Flo Rida makes Bryant Gumble look like Jay-Z. I want him gone. (via Blind I) [...]
Friday Foolery | The Beautiful Struggler on July 30th, 2010

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