Blind I | The Boutique Music Blog | Quality Over Quantity.

I Know Who Killed R&B

As much as people love to quote Nas on the “Hip-Hop is dead” tip, I would argue that R&B is, well, deader. And while New Jack Swing may be the best sub-genre in the history of musical sub-genres, I do have to say that the marriage of Hip-Hop and R&B certainly helped to cause the latter’s demise.

However, I think there is a powerful force of evil in the music industry today who has made it his cause to ensure that R&B music is completely obliterated as we know it. This man, simply by existing, has insulted all that is talent, songwriting and soul. This man is the equivalent of an “anti-drug” for sex. He may also be the first succesful cross between man and wilderbeast.

I think you all know who I am talking about:

T-Pain: human kryptonite to quality music and female arousal.

First of all, what the devil is that machine he sings in to, and WHY? It’s one thing to “enhance” your voice with a little Pro-Tools magic (What up Janet? I see you Ciara!). It’s another thing to use studio effects take someone who is a horrid singer and make them…..sorta almost kinda passable (Pon de replay, Rihanna! Yo’ Britt, stop making babies!) But to make yourself sound like a fucking weird computer is, well, fucking weird. And then this clown has the nerve to get other people on board (Snoop, Chris “My boyfriend” Brown).

Half his lyrics are just gibberish and sounds. This dude is like an R&B Teletubby. There isn’t a grade of weed in the world strong enough to make me understand him and there isn’t a tranquilizer strong enough to make me want to try. I caught that “Kiss, Kiss” song on the radio the other day and I liked to have died. Yes, I liked to have died.

Here is my theory. T-Pain is on some Clarence Thomas/Uncle Ruckus sell-out shit. He’s been paid by some big money White folks who want to take over R&B music. So here he comes completely taking all the Soul out of the music and turning it in to some bullshit. Meanwhile, Amy Winehouse and Robin Thicke are looking like Donnie Hathaway and Roberta Flack by comparison. In a few years, an incense waving, dreadlocked blonde from Omaha named Becky Wiegel is gonna be the new “high priestess of Soul” and poor India.Arie will be selling roses on the side of the highway. OR, perhaps R&B in all of it’s shapes and forms will die because of this madness!

Now, I realize that by telling you this, I put my life in danger. T-Pain looks like he can chew through human flesh. But I love music too much to see this man ruin it. He must be stopped at any cost! If anyone has a stake or a silver bullet, holler at your girl.

DROPPED BY SISTER TOLDJA

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21 Comments to I Know Who Killed R&B

1. 

   T-Pain makes some dope songs. I don’t think his use of the vocoder is to hide any lacking talent. It enhances the songs he does sonically. I’d rather hear the type of R&B with synths, bloops, and lazer sounds combined with that computer voice instead of somebody pretending like it’s a real voice like Britney. People should maybe put him in another category from R&B.

   This post is funny as hell though. She said he looks like a wilderbeast. lololol

   Also, you can make the case that R&B died before hip hop did.
cam on December 11th, 2007
2. 

   R&B was dead way before T-Pain.
suli on December 11th, 2007
3. 

   HA!
   props on this one.
sdot* on December 11th, 2007
4. 

   I know $, but gosh, can’t we have some fun at the repass?
Sister Toldja on December 11th, 2007
5. 

   Yo, Kells has some answering to do, although talented no doubt but no class and what happened to actually writing songs… That Rap Singing crap has no place in true R&B.

   Where the hell is Jodeci when u need them?
Sanchez on December 11th, 2007
6. 

   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYiN2N_JADg

   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2QZ0Z0l9hI

   i think thats all you need to see
mistab0310 on December 11th, 2007
7. 

   You are on to something. R Kelly has made of the WORST music in the history of the world, post “R.”

   I forgot about him because he is dead to me (see: pedophilia).

   I found Jodeci last year. Wouldn’t hold my breath waiting for their return, love: http://thebeautifulstruggler.blogspot.com/2006/11/show-afterparty-crackhouse-requiem-for.html and http://thebeautifulstruggler.blogspot.com/2007/03/de-come-and-get-jo-and-ciquick.html
Sister Toldja on December 11th, 2007
8. 

   I don’t think he considers himself an R&B singer, though. Other than “Kiss Kiss” ::shudders::, he really is like a kind of mix.
   I won’t deny I liked “Buy You a Drank” when it FIRST came out and I like “Church” to this day, but this man isn’t responsible for killing anything. He’s responsible for making bad music popular.
Chuka_N on December 11th, 2007
9. 

   1st off… respecognition on this post.

   2nd off… i agree w/ $ that Rap & Bullshit was dead before hip hop as well.

   3rd off… T-Pain is the worst popular sounding piece of shit i have ever heard. bring back HORRORCORE while you’re @ it batchez!

   4th… he is a disrespect to Roger Troutman who made a killin off the whole voice box sound. vocoder, voice box, whatever… i understand a song … maybe a hook here or there… but to base your whole entire catalog on the same schitt is fuckin batch to me & disrespects me as a listener.

   oh & ya’ll niggaz want soul?

   ERIC ROBERSON
   DWELE
   MUSIQ
   JILL
   BILAL
   INDIA
   LUCAS ANTHONY
   RAHSAAN PATTERSON
   SY SMITH
   CHRISETTE MICHELE
   STACEY EPPS
   ETC. ETC. ETC.
NO on December 11th, 2007
10. 

    the feeling’s mutual =)
kokobeats3 on December 11th, 2007
11. 

    Where is TR? The only person other than Roger Troutman to bless the vocoder.. And what the hell is Snoop on?
Sanchez on December 11th, 2007
12. 

    TR?
NO on December 11th, 2007
13. 

    Yes, New Jack was the best subgenre… I agree… Check NJS4E.com and PlayaPhiPlaya.net… I often find myself reminiscing. As for T-Pain… Lol, he’s comedy. And as long as Snoop doesn’t do anymore songs with the vocoder on his album, he’s cool. He was one of the first in hip-hop to have it in his songs… His song (Sexual Seduction) wasn’t all that bad . Kinda refreshing in light of what he’s been making since “Doggfather”… R&B starting dying around the late 90′s though… Only a select few carry the torch… I don’t think this music is for us anymore… Time to pick some artists and make another genre (“Made Hov say Ok so, make another Hov”).
RemainAnonymous on December 11th, 2007
14. 

    PlayaPhiPlaya stay on that real. respecognition to them fsho!

    & i think we all kinda subconsciously created the new genre, we just didnt give it a name.

    i personally refer to it as HOT SCHH…

    hahahahaha
NO on December 11th, 2007
15. 

    HAHAHA, I FUCKIN LAUGHED MY ASS OFF WHEN I SAW THIS BLOG.
    I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE THAT NOTICED,
    THAT THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS GARBAGE!!!
    HOW YOU GONNA AUTOTUNE EVERYFUCKIN VOCAL YOU HAVE?
    YOU CALL THAT MUSIC?
    THAT SHIT AINT R&B THATS FOR DAMN SURE.
    FUCK AKON TOO.
IllTurner on December 11th, 2007
16. 

    I laughed in a “this hurts me so I’ll laugh off the (T)-pain and horror of it all…”

    I’m sorry but this dude is talentless. I get angry because for all the years I’ve been buying the albums of people like Eric Roberson and Bilal, this joke gets way more airplay. It’s like he’s a Roger/Zap spoof or something and he honestly can’t sing!!! Need I say Hip Hop Awards? Imma keep my headphones on my own -ish. I see now why I don’t listen to the radio no more. Part of me wants to bomb 106KMEL here in the Yay.

    Maybe Lupe can give me some love.
deebadgurl on December 12th, 2007
17. 

    YAY AREA!!! WOOT WOOT!!

    408 STAND UP!

    510 STAND UP!!

    415 STAND UP!!

    831 FALL BACK!!

    hahahaha no love for Salas!!
NO on December 12th, 2007
18. 

    1.whats with all these song writers becoming actual artists?

    2.teddy riley is responsible for the whole rap singing deal but when he did it, it was original.

    3.teddy riley should come back a slap all these lames for taking his style (R. Kelly)

    4.lmao at the nigga who said we might as well bring Horrorcore back.
LargeMarcus on December 12th, 2007
19. 

    4. i’d be that nigga

    & werd up… i’ma up flatlinerz

    “we go so liive evil liive evil”

    mwahahahahahahaha

    dont front u want it back too!

    mwahahahahahahahahaha
NO on December 12th, 2007
20. 

    it’s actually “we GET so liiiive evil liiiiiiiiive evil”
NO on December 12th, 2007
21. 

    It’s about time someone spoke on this issue! Damn him! He needs to get on to something else… I also need a record contract if HE can do his thing!
lexi431 on December 13th, 2007

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