So as noted in the previous post I felt inspired to get the ladies take on Chris’ Forget the Beats…It’s About the Bitties. In my survey of bossy women doing their thing, many found that post enlightening or entertaining.It’s all in good fun and satire.

So, as promised I deliver our very own city-by-city breakdown of the regional YEAHs and NAHs related to men. Like Ciara, I Proceed to break it down. And if you happen to relate to the negative aspects of the post, fear not! Let it be a cue card that you might need to RE-UP your life. And if feel the urge to post an angry anonymous comment it should signal that your insecurity is glowing and that defensiveness is not sexy unless you stand firmly behind it. Or shit, beat your chest King Kong style and accept where you are at this point. Agreed? Nuff said.

* And remember men meet women and want them to stay the same. Women meet men and hope that they will change!

In no order.
1. NYC:Theme song: DJ Khaled “I’m So Hood”

YEAH! The hustler’s spirit in NYC is attractive. Look at the moguls the Big Apple has produced from Jigga to Diddy. NY men who have it together are fun but the fun is often surfacy and short-lived. They wine and dine in Meatpacking and get you a car service where you need to go (no subways). Tribeca lofts and BOTTLE SERVICE. The “city of first dates” would make the ideal man if the relocated. Non-ballers are genuinely men with potential. You want to support them and see them follow their dreams.
NAH! Despite the glitz and glam we would like to call it New York SHITTY. Let’s start with the fact that there are so few attractive men here compared to other cities. It’s really Sexless in the City, because the handful of flossy men that work on Wall St. etc. are too busy stroking their egos and name-dropping that they can hardly utter the word c-o-m-m-i-t-t-m-e-n-t. The NY will drive the ladies to bust a Halle Berry move. You can’t walk a block without a sewer rat blowing a kiss or mouthing “God bless you ma” with a brown paper bag in hand. Not to mention the amount of men driving a Mercedez but living with Moms. They don’t buy drinks and STARE way too hard. These cats have too many baby mamas sounding like Rah Digga and behaving like Remy Ma. Not speaking that dun language son!

2. CHI-TOWN:Theme song: Lupe Fiasco “Real”

YEAH! Brothers from the Chi are ultimately jazzy. The keepers have a swag and a classy element to them that seems to be lacking from many regions. Chicago-getters are fitted to the ankles. Freshness is in the genes. They still know how to be gentlemen without being corny and they are a bit more grounded than the NY counterparts. They are carrying the Mid-West torch proudly. You can take them home to meet the parents and they’re more likely to make the façade believable. Plus, Chicago men have good conversation. Their vocabulary consists of more than 20 words and they READ. We have to also tip the hats to Lupe Fiasco, Kanye West and Common.
NAH! OK Chi brothers can dive off the Metrosexual deep-end some times. When it gets to a point where we feel like we are competing for the hottest fit, there is a problem. Some Chicago men can tell you who designed your shoes from a mile away and they start to look kinda suspect. We like manly men; please don’t wax your brows or wear the new male lip gloss. And then there are the creepy Steve Harvey zoot-suit gator-wing-tip-wearing bammas as well that we prefer to avoid.

3. PHILLY: Theme song: Pretty Willie “Lay Your Body Down”

YEAH! Survey says… Philly men are the best in bed. YEP, you heard right. The city of Brotherly LOVE loves the sheets like Downy. Perhaps it’s something in the water, but Philly men lay the pipe. To the point where we might be cooking soul food in stilettos. Or breakfast in bed. Or plotting another form of “Good Morning.” Whistling Dixie and ironing work-shirts. Philly men also have good taste in music. They listen to a lot of soul and appreciate good vinyl. They also have their own look which can be considered good or bad (Sunni beards, capris and Miskeen).
NAH! OK despite the backstroke skills many PA men are too busy trafficking some form of drugs to get it together. They’re mischievous and make better play-play boos than anything official. They become like that winter trench that you pull out only when it’s time: seasonal. Plus, many of them get so focused on life in Philly that they never leave. And some parts of Philly feel too much like an episode of The Wire for the average chick. NEXT!

4. D.C.:Theme song: Jay-Z “2 Many Hoes”

YEAH! Me and Sista Toldja are Howard grads so we understand the perspective of non-“urea” women. The good thing about the Chocolate City is there is a lot of opportunity in the area for good careers. There’s a diverse college scene and a lot of jobs so there is a broad selection of men. Many articles say D.C. as a good place for black women to find a man. Men from D.C. make it their priority to see you have a good time. They have good follow-up skills and are not afraid to show their enthusiasm.
NAH! Area men cannot handle rejection at all. It’s the CAPITOL of the “You ain’t that cute anyway” pouty response that comes from walking past a bamma on the corner. The homies have gotten cursed out and had objects thrown at them. D.C. men always drive alongside you as you are walking. No need to hold up traffic bruh, not interested. In the passenger’s side or better yet the backseat of his best friend’s ride, trying to holler at me (Yes I brought back Scrubs). Then there is the local culture not every woman can appreciate. The tapered leg Wrangler jeans, the Rambo headbands and HOBO are not universally sexy. Then, there is that looming crazy crime and HIV rate. “I ain’t trying to be rude, dude won’t you disappear? There’s so many hoes in here.”

5. ATL: Theme song: KP and Envyi “Shawty Swing My Way”

YEAH! ATL men take pride in themselves and the art of CHIVLALRY. The home of the chuuuch has definitely groomed the boys to put their best food forward and keep on their Sunday’s best. Though there are a slew of rowdy men in the trap, most boys from the A still seem to have some morals and a sense of family. They love their mommas which translates into having greater respect for women. Plus, with a reasonable cost of living, many Atlanta men are living in the lap of luxury which results in that sexy, confident demeanor. They refuse to let the woman pick up the tab with their traditional values and they open doors and pull out chairs. As you ride in their drop tops you kind of want to have a Lauren London New New moment and tell the A-boy “I think you’re special.” Many women believe they will find a hubby in the city.
NAH! Unfortunately, many men come to the A to find their husbands too. It’s no secret. All you have to do is walk through Lenox Square mall to see the amount of thriving male/male love. And while we can appreciate that we don’t want to be dating a man that is secretly getting his back twisted somewhere in the woods. NO-SIR we don’t swing that way. And then there are the yucky Big Gipp types that reek of old weed and stale alcohol that you can barely understand a word they are saying. They sound like the adults on Charlie Brown. “Wha wha wha whaaa?”

6. Los Angeles: Theme song: Jay-Z “Girls Girls Girls”

YEAH! Men from Los Angeles are intriguing and laid back. It is home to some of the calmest men in the country. Perhaps it’s the beach environment or the abundance of good GREEN, but L.A. men don’t spazz out a lot like their hyphy Bay Area counterparts. There are a lot of lookers in Cali. L.A. men are not afraid to stunt in a subtle way. The city produces a lot of business-minded men plotting their next $.
NAH! Men from Cali ALWAYS have a girlfriend but they are rarely faithful. They’re the type that’s quick to jump into a relationship for the comforts (they’re needy) but still be plotting on the next “breezy.” Then there are the brain washed dudes that insist they need to sample the 100 flavors over their sistas and blatantly do an O.J. Simpson. It’s cool to experiment but it can get out of hand. And don’t forget the Jody-type dudes with crusty S-curls and (gulp) K Swiss. Plus that damn accent can get out of hand when car-=coor. Plus, men surrounded by fake boobies and Botox are ultimately going to be pretty shallow and vein. Over-inflated self-image central.

*We also have to give a quick nod to Virginia Beach/Norfolk area. Virginia is for lovers and men there do settle down. However, as the Clipse, Fam-Lay etc have illustrated there ain’t shit to do but cook. Attractive men with no opportunities in sight.

*Houston men are similar to the A but they’re more fun. And sexy!The culture in Texas is one of a kind and you will have a ball with these dudes if you stray from the grills.

***Now, the forum opens! And remember. Sarcasm is good for the soul.***

maybe I’m not ALWAYS early… sometimes i wake up late!

shiet!!

it’s hard to be uberly fresh and ridiculously good looking 25/8!!!

mwahahaha

naw but in all seriousness… this video is fuckin GREAT!!! and i can’t believe i barely saw it today!

Uh Oh!!! Get your forks and knives ready ladies and gentleman… WE HAVE NEW BEEF!!!

[Read in movie trailer voice] Has Jay-Z met finally his match? (I know you may think the Illmatic won, me too…dont give me a hard time. Just do me a favor and get excited with me. Thanx) Will The “Greatest Of All Time” cook up something fire enough to scorch Rap Music’s Leading Superstar? Will Jay-Z even respond? Tune into BLIND I FOR THE KIDS for more details!!!!!!

R I O (I LOVE BEEF)

You think he was mad at MTV? LOL

R I O

Because its funny…

RIO